I seriously do not understand the need for you to use the top of your voice to yell at me at the middle of the night. I do not understand why you always say that we eyed on your money. I do not understand and do not want to understand. I do not understand why you like mention after your death, we will not get a cent. I do not understand about your needs of flaring up unnessarily for the sake of a spectacle and use harsh sentences. I do not understand why you need to yell before even a word of a normal tone. I do not understand why you count yourself forever right and others as wrong. So what exactly is the rate and measurement scale to sentence people life or death. I do not understand why you need to scream everytime you are at home. This is real sickening and this is really crazy. Yes, I cried in front of you like a mad spoilt tap. However, I cried not because you didnt give me any money but I cried because of your fcuking harsh scoldings that I cant even defend myself. Yes, I used the word fcuking, because you used the word fcuk. I do not mind if you dont give me a single cent, but I mind the way you talk to me. I fcuking loathed the value of money nowadays, because I rather hope I'm a beggar. I do not understand and I find it rather ridiculous to get myself understood with your kind of logic. This is crazy, and I'm not.

Yes, I have a 100% complete family.
People envied me, badly. That was just because I looked like a more happy and optimistic child compared to them. They think I'm wealthy - based on the kind of apartment that I'm staying in. HAHA, but when you step into my house. This will be Neverland. Never-a-land. I cant deny that I'm somehow abit better than them but only to a certain aspect and a certain extent.

But you can never imagine that I do not understand the meaning of PAPA until when I was Primary 1. That was way too pathetic and sounded kind of 'ARE YOU KIDDING?'. But no, I wasnt. Daddy is the way I called you since young, but your face was only entered into my brain when I was 7. Why? Haha, good question. When I'm young, I only get to see you like probably less than 3 times a MONTH. yes, that's a month. Am I kidding? No, I hope I'm not. Am I crazy? No, I'm certainly not. You can never imagine a primary 1 kid, not able to answer your teacher what is PAPA when she was asked what was that across the classroom. This is absolutely holy.

When I was young, and one day, I was sleeping soundly and get awaken by my parents quarrel. I found the voice so unfamiliar, asking my sister who was outside, and my grandmum ask me to shutup and sleep. How nice can it be as in not to be able to even recognize someone voice who is living under the same roof tgt with you? I'm crazy, and I'm mad. No doubts about that.

I do not get money from you for everything that I bought. Except essential stuff like specs, school fees, and books fee. A month of $300 which include my concession fees and my meals pocket money. Holy~ I only change my specs every 3 to 4 years. So I dont expect a fcuking yelling with slashing sentences across the whole entire house in the middle of the night. You are not scolding me, you are not shouting, but you yell at the top of your voice and I think your lungs can just tear anytime. I cried, you think I want? Using my tears just to tork your money? THIS IS WHAT YOU SAID. But I did not. If I do, I wont even start working at the age of bloody 14. I do not like to use my tears to talk to you, I do not even like to cry. I hate crying bec it just show how fcuking weak you are.

You made me drop a respect for you.
I can no longer understand you, and there is definitely a certain level of fear in me already.
If you want to be calculative, I will too. But I do not wish to.
THIS IS CRAZY.

Having a complete family without a nice way of communication is the worst kind of family that you could ever encounter. I do not like the way my dad see the value in money. I do not buy branded stuff, excuse me. Even if I do, those are gifts from friends. Ridiculous, if we are so like a gold-digger, then we will have thousands of branded clothes. If we are so bastard-spender, then I wont be laughed for having my clothes to be worn repeatedly in school in every 1-2 weeks. This is totally not hilarious, but a total embarrassment. Look at all my cousins, and you will understand what I meant. It's driving me crazy. I just need your understanding, dad.

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