Alright, I hate myself for having nothing called confidence.

I used to have one big chunk of it in the past.

But I left non of that right now.

In the past, no doubts -yes I have them.

Ever since I graduated from secondary school and enter poly, I'm less talkative already.

I have that kind of attitude that I dont want to make new friends.

I have that kind of attitude that I dont want to talk too much about myself.

I realised I will only choose to make friends whom are less devilish.

Gradually, and slowly, I forgotten when my confidence started to flunk.

Whenever I start to have presentations, I really started to shiver and my voice really trembled.

My eyes will become very watery, as if I cried. But I did not.

And whenever I start to speak to a bigger crowd, I automatically lower my volume to 50%.

Whenever it comes to presentations, or facing teachers or people who decides pass or fail, in or out kinds, my mind will go blank.

After presentations or exams, I started to blame myself for not having guts and everything.

that feeling sucks. I feel negative. I think there's a problem with me.

Maybe I have anti-social personality disorder - I mean it.